19 Differences Between Loving Someone and Being in Love

We may all love many people in the course of a lifetime. However, being in love is something different. It can be dangerous, uplifting, and drive you crazy at the same time. This is the kind of live that makes life so very complicated and so very worth it.

Many say that they want love, but have no idea just what they’re wishing for. So to make things a little clearer about this confusing phenomenon, we’ll be discussing it in some detail. More specifically, we would be touching upon the differences between loving some and being in love:

image

When you just love someone, you want to be with them because of the level of comfort they provide. The next time you seek someone out for their company; ponder upon your motive behind this seeking. Do you only think you would have a good time together, or are you looking for more?

The answer to this could help you gauge whether you just love the person or want a relationship with them. For instance, you could crave someone’s company when planning a trip. However, if you are in love with them, you would see this trip as a step towards being something more. Of course, you could also seek out the company of someone like your family members or friends. If that is the case, then you probably just want to have a great time. This means that you love them in a platonic manner.

image

When you are in love with someone, you would weigh every word you say to them. This is because everything they say has the potential to truly hurt you. You are highly aware of what you are doing, saying, thinking, and so on. If you do make the other person feel less than great, you yourself would be affected.

However, when it’s just a matter of loving someone, you would be thinking more in an ethical manner. You would not want to hurt the other person because they mean a lot to you. It is not necessary, though, that you actively feel heartbroken if they feel the least twinge of emotional pain. Hence, in both cases, you would actively avid emotional negativity. The reasons for doing so would differ.

image

Sometimes, there may be a person that you really love, but just can’t seem to fall in love with. If this happens too often, it may disturb you and make you think your standards are too high. However, we’re here to tell you that falling in love is not going to make you feel guilty. It just happens, and you can’t force it.

So the next time you’re presented with an apparently perfect person for yourself, don’t try to force your feelings. Sure, they may be so great that you could love them, but falling in love is beyond your control.

Simply put, one cannot limit falling in love to the realms of logic. It is free from all these limitations, and may happen when you least expect it.

image

Loving someone, but not necessarily being in love with them, gives you a sense of living in the moment. You would want to spend time with that person because they make you happy. They may make you feel good, confident, and maybe even make a better person out of you.

However, if you are not in love with them, their effect would only last for the moment you’re with them. Once you two part, you’re probably not going to be the same way anymore.

Being in love, on the other hand, reaches down deep within you. It transforms you on a level that just loving would not. When you’re with the person you’ve fallen in love with, you would always be looking to the future. You want to have more of them, and so you’re always planning for what lies ahead.

iamge

When it comes to being in love, it’s not all sunshine and roses. Your falling in love could manifest itself in a number of negative habits too. You could experience obsession, extreme possessiveness, and infatuation.

This means that when that person is not with you, you feel unable to function. You may even find yourself unable to breathe. You simply want to be with them the whole time, no matter what the consequences. All of these factors may make for a good romance novel however; it is certainly not feasible or practical in real life.

iamge

When you love someone, you want more than just for them to stay with you. You encourage them to spread their wings and actually have a life outside of your relationship. If they feel the same way, both of you can be a great support for each other. You would inspire, encourage, support, motivate, and be there when you need each other. There’s no need for you to ask the other person before helping them. You just do it without giving it a second thought.

If you do not experience this on both sides of a relationship, you may be alone in your love. However, one must be sure to see whether this is a constant feeling or just a temporary one. The other person may just be having a bad day but immensely supports you otherwise. In any case, you have to be extremely observant and alert about where your relationship is standing right now.

image

Love is all about giving and receiving just about everything that you have. However, you do focus more on the giving part. You must also keep an eye out to ascertain that the other person is not being manipulative of you. If they are keeping minute details of your every wrong and not trusting you, it’s probably not love they’re feeling. They may be in love, but not in a good or positive manner.

In a way, there’s nothing more painful than loving someone who doesn’t love you back. They may accept your tokens of love and hear out your outpourings of affection. If deep down they feel like you’re just too intense or desperate, it may be time to cut them off. One must understand that love has to be on both sides in order to avoid getting hurt. You simply can’t expect something from someone which they simply do not have to give.

image

If you want to know whether your last bond was just loving someone or being in love, try this. Look at the time in which it took you to fall for them. If it was short and maybe fleeting, you may have fallen in love. This kind of falling does not require even knowing the other person very well. Of course, this is not usually a healthy sign, since it means that you are obsessive, compulsive, or infatuated. It could even mean that you are lusting after the other person for their physical characteristics.

Loving someone truly and deeply, though, requires a lot of time and effort. This can only happen when you spend a lot of time with them and deeply get to know them.

image

Be aware that you cannot claim to have loved someone else until you love yourself first. Finding your own path is just as important as finding love in this day and age. We never know when we might be left alone, so we have to be prepared for such a situation. If you don’t like or love yourself, being alone could be a mental torture for you.

Self-love is also a way for your partner or loved one to breathe on their own. This would allow them to be what they really are without fear of being judged by you. Basically speaking, both of you should be willing to make the sacrifices for each other to stabilize themselves. Love, in fact, does not begin as an external thing but comes from within.

If you have inadvertently fallen in love, you would probably not be able to control yourself for a while. Many have even gone over the edge and committed suicide for this kind of feeling. Needless to say, there have been instances where being in love smothers both parties instead of enhancing their lives. It’s tragic but definitely true.

image

When you’re in love, it may be due to your own selfishness. It may be that you want to be with this person for what they can provide you. This doesn’t have to be something materialistic like wealth or fame. It could also be something as simple as craving company and the stamp of being with someone. This is, in our opinion, just as selfish as wanting to be with someone for their riches. When they cannot offer you anything, you may find yourself falling out of love.

On the other hand, loving someone would entail giving more than you take. You may have a lot to offer, but not expect anything in return.

image

When you realize you may feel some love for another person, be sure to look within yourself. Do you love them with their flaws, or just want to have a chance to change them? There’s nothing wrong with trying to enhance another person, but your love should not depend on this factor. They would have good days and bad ones; the key here is to stay patient and just be with them.

iamge

Many define being in love as something you have no control over. This is true since one can actively choose to love someone, but sometimes fall for the wrong person. For instance, you may have a wonderful person for a partner, and try care about them. On the other hand, your friend could be head over heels in love with someone who doesn’t care about them. The two kinds of love are not comparable, so don’t make the mistake of putting them side by side.

In fact, falling in love is not easy to stop doing or just end when you feel things aren’t going well. If it’s just loving someone, you can stop if the relationship gets too difficult, abusive, or otherwise harmful. This is not the case when being in love, and many people don’t have the choice of moving on.

image

When you simply love the other person, you may weigh your sacrifices before making them. Sure, you could support their career, but only if it doesn’t interfere with your life. You may be there for them, but there is always the option of being selfish too. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as we must all look at maintaining our lives along with everything else.

However, being in love would mean you negate yourself of sorts. You would put the other person first no matter what, even if it’s not good for them. You may not be able to help it, but you would take care of their happiness before your own. This may be because you feel that you can only be happy when they are happy. This may or may not be a healthy situation, but it would depend on each individual case.

image

Loving the other person could end when there’s a huge fight. You may also be able to end the loving feeling when you sit down and weigh the pros and cons. In this way, loving someone could be very much temporary and within your control.

Being in love is vastly different. Anything the other person does, you can’t help but feel love for them. Just being with them is an adventure for you, and you don’t really crave anything beyond that.

image

You can also measure the difference between loving and being in love by looking at how much you need the other person. Loving someone would mean you need them with you. This could be for companionship, support, or any other personal problem. However, it’s a bit selfish, because you want their attention as well as giving your own to them.

Being in love, though, would mean needing the other person to be happy and fulfilled. You can accomplish this by giving them space. However, you could also veer off to an extreme and want to wait on them hand and foot. Again, there is a healthy and an unhealthy way of being in love.

image

The next time you have feelings for someone; look at how your emotions come in when you see them. When you fall in love, the emotions could be rushed. They may also come when you least expect them. Loving someone deeply, however, would mean that you feel a constant inflow of motions. Hopefully, most of these feelings would be positive.

image

When you love someone, you focus on how they make you feel about yourself and your life. In many cases, it is that they make you feel good. However, being in love would entail how good you want them to feel. There is a huge difference, even though it may seem subtle at first.

image

Many times, we claim to love the other person, but we just want to own them. You could love in such a situation, but not be in love. This is because being in love means wanting the other person to stand with you at all levels. You want them to be involved in all your decisions. In a sense, you give as much of yourself as you want from them.

So the next time you think you’re in love, see if you’re a partner or an owner. Pardon the business terms but this is an excellent way of finding out your relationship level. This could help you gauge the next step to take and whether you need to change anything in your relationship. It may also help you decide whether you with the right person or not.

image

For our last point, we would look at the truth of the saying ’love is a battlefield’. Many are of the opinion that love should be easy but actually, find it hard. If this is the case, they’re probably loving someone right now, but not being in love per se.

If you truly love someone but are not getting anything back, you would feel empty. The relationship might seem forced and you may be reconsidering it.

However, being in love is usually more than enough for the one experiencing it. You would not have to force your feelings of love when the going gets tough. There would be ups and down in this second situation, but you are sure the love would remain.

Knowing the difference between simple loving and being in love is very important. If we mix up these feelings, the results could be disastrous for both parties. So stay focused in just what you want before you do something you might regret.

Add Comment