Growing up, we have our life all mapped out. We will finish school, move away some place interesting and happening and one day meet the man of our dreams. He will then propose which we will accept among squeals of joy. We will have a home together and hopefully kids would soon follow.
Sounds perfect, doesn’t it? That’s what I would reply with when someone would ask me where I saw myself at 30. Unfortunately, life had other plans and none of it panned out that way. I thought I was the only one among a sea of women squealing over engagement rings and bent over wedding magazines. Along the course of my 20s, I met other strong, independent women who, like me, had put marriage on hold until they got everything that they wanted from life.
Here are 8 brutally honest reasons why you should totally think about waiting till your 30s to get married instead of in your 20s.
8. You have a strong sense of who you are as a person in your 30s
Instead of the fresh college grad that just tumbled into practical life and an adult world, in your 30s you are someone entirely different. You are strong and independent and know exactly who you are as a person. You have the chance to grow all throughout your 20s and now your personality is set in stone. This will give you a confidence to take on life, love and relationships like never before.
7. You know what you want
You are not a naïve young girl who will settle for whatever comes her way because she doesn’t know any better. You have been out and about in the world and you have set standards for yourself. By the time you hit your 30s, you have a crystal clear of idea the things you want from your life. You have prioritized your personal and professional goals. The fundamental issues of your personality are all sorted and out of the way. You have a blueprint for your life and are confident enough to go after it.
6. You will be financially stable
Love is enough but not always. You are still in a struggling phase in your 20s and will not be lucky enough as a select few to be able to earn enough to make a decent life. There will always be compromises over one wish or another to be able to make ends meet and that is not the kind of strain you want to put on a marriage.
A divorce study shows that arguments about money are one of the main factors behind marriages failing. In your 30s, you will have had a steady job and source of income. You would have saved up and gotten some control over your finances.
5. 20s is your ‘me’ time
Your 20s is when you are new and fresh in the world and have a million dreams you want to chase. You may want to go backpacking with your friends around the state, go travel Europe or there may be an impromptu holiday plan with the friends.
When you are married, you can’t just drop everything and up and leave as you wish and please. There are two people in a marriage and you have to take their comfort, routine and schedule into consideration as well. You will get plenty of time in your 20s to know and love yourself before you can learn to commit to someone else.
4. You learn what it means to be in a partnership
20s is the time of self-discovery. You date people you find interesting and from each relationship you carry an important lesson forward in your life. You will have a much better idea of the things you want in a relationship, the things you can compromise on and the things you simply can’t let go of.
You will also have much more flexibility and be more accommodating when you’re in your 30s. Based on past relationships, you will also have the experience to handle different situations. You will also be less impressionable and will not let your partner influence you against your will.
3. You had time to live alone
You have lived alone and done the independent thing. You have chased the silliest of your dreams and dated the ‘bad boys’ and that is all out of your system, for good. In your 30s, you are now looking forward to settle and will be committed to making relationships stick.
2. You are mature and have better communication skills
Maturity comes with experience not just with age. You will have had plenty of experience dealing with life and all its shenanigans all throughout your 20s and by the time you hit 30s you will have a much better grip on life.
Your communication skills would have polished by now as well. It plays a key part in making any relationship work and effective communication will enable you to navigate your way through relationships much better in your 30s. You will also be sexually confident and will know what to ask for.
1. Marriage is forever and there is no rush
You are not going to turn into a pumpkin and your eggs will not expire as the biological clock strikes 30. Marriage is commitment and it is hard work. You have to give your 100% to a relationship and your partner because that’s what it entails. It is two people in control of the same vehicle who have to maintain a continuous rhythm to be able to not crash. Marriage is forever and there is no rush.