It is an unfortunate reality to give all your energy and time in a relationship only to be repaid by heartbreak and betrayal of the worst kind. Yes we are talking about guys who may appear charming but are actually silver tongued devils for all it is worth. They will charm their way to your heart and when it is no more fun they will drop the act and move to engage themselves with someone else. For such individuals relationships are just a fling, a time pass and nothing more. It may come as a surprise but these people are so despicably immature that they can never grasp the sensitivities of a relationship. They only live for the moment and to hell with consequences. They are not about empathy or feelings but only a casual encounter to show off their skills and earn the undeserving affection only to dump the relationship and move to next ‘project’.
The manipulation and the weaving of lies are such that one may never be able to unravel their true intentions. He may make you feel special and loved but one must simply not let their emotions get the better of their reason. Relationships are built on mutual respect a thing which is completely lacking in such an individual. They may say they are sincerely yours but the truth cannot be far from reality. Although one may not realize it immediately but as the relationship progresses you may start to notice that something is amiss. Following are some behavioral patterns and attitude which can easily be identified to assess whether he is a player or a keeper.
If they are always online using social media trying to connect with everyone in the world but have little time for you means trouble. They may be using the social media to the point of ignoring your growing discomfort which is a sign they are not attentive to your person. The way they are always leaving feedback on a particular girls photo or the fact that most of their facebook friends are girls. Call it paranoia but if he has eyes and heart for you then their actions should resonate with their words. If you find their social media usage sketchy, confront them about it and if they are unable to explain it may be time to move on for good.
You just met them for a few days and already getting incessant texts about how hopelessly they have fallen in love with you. That you are the only person who could ever understand them fully. He will try to emphasize that he was waiting patiently for someone just like you and you complete them. The utter non-sense of having a certain spark between you and them. That your person just ‘clicked’ with them and things felt nice and appropriate. Remember they are master manipulators and they are only trying to uplift your self-esteem. They have no desire to be with you in the long haul and never had but only the need to fulfill their own twisted sense of self-accomplishment. Once their ulterior motives have been achieved they will completely disregard you. So if the relationship seems like moving too fast and things are getting advanced a lot quicker than usual is a point of concern. Sure there is something like falling in love head over heels but it should endure the test of times.
They are never able to take time out to go out with you at some appropriate hour. They only have after hours to spend with you. They will always have an excuse ready for getting so late: friend, family or work. Whatever the case maybe, if a guy truly loves you they will make you a priority. They will manage to spend more and more time with you. If they tell you they are only available certain days of the week and specific time of the day is a certain red flag that they are juggling more than one romantic relationship.
They oscillate between feelings of affection and being distant without any prior reason. They may be full of love and affection one day and cold shouldering you the next day. They will try to make you think that you are the one who is falling short of expectations. Manipulate your thinking that they are doing their best to make things work but you are the one failing relationship. To them this whole relationship is just a façade to fulfill their own agenda. They will constantly change the rules of engagement and make you self-doubt your role in the relationship. You need to discuss the matter with complete clarity and let them know you are not an option but the only choice. You should make it loud and clear that if they cannot reassess their priorities and give you the place you deserve they have no place in your heart. It may involve a certain degree of courage but better face the issue than to play a second fiddle to someone’s base desires. It will save you a lot more pain later on in the relationship when he leaves you in a rut to pursue their interests in someone else.
If a guy truly loves you he will try to integrate you more and more into his life. He will want you to get to know about his family and close friends and meet your parents as well. The fact that you never get to meet his family or friends strongly suggests that he wants the relationship under wraps. This is enough evidence to show that they want you as someone who is an option to hook up with but not someone for a serious long term relationship. Otherwise they would try to make every effort to get you on board with their family and friends and not make excuses about it.
Whenever he is approached with an idea of where the relationship is headed or whether he would commit to it there is a definite discomfort on his part. They would try and change the subject or if they can’t evade it will come up with unconvincing answers. For example they might say commitment is too much responsibility and they would rather just keep it casual. Similarly something to the tune of keeping it low key as they want more time to adjust to the relationship. These are all very well versed and sugar coated reasons which might even appeal to a person as acceptable or logical. However one could see right through them after some time when their true colors start to reveal. It is only logical to assume that when a person is in a serious relationship they will want to talk about their interests and hobbies and how they see the future with you. If they talk about what they want out of life and you are not in their future chances are they are just wasting your time in a meaningless relationship.
They would have hard time showing public display of affection as their body language becomes very rigid and seemingly distant. He can’t afford to show his affection for you in public lest there are other observers who may be potential material for a romantic fling. They will feel standoffish and cold and holding hands or smiling is out of question let alone only making an eye contact with you. He may be a sweet talker and charming with his demeanor but his body language will speak louder than his words. They will have a hard time putting labels on things like mentioning you as their “girlfriend” are one such label. Terming your casual hook ups as “relationship” is another such label.
They could not in a million years bring themselves to admit to the seriousness and significance of the relationship to the public at large. Their best idea of a date is Netflix and sex. They would not even think of going out with you on a date to some bar or socially hip and happening places. After all they do not want to narrow their chances of finding a potential date by admitting to the fact that they are ‘taken’ as they want to keep an open playing field. On the contrary they may act completely differently while in private making all the right moves and showing positive body language since you are away from public eye. Do not say we did not warn you about their split personalities!
If a guy is in a serious relationship he will make an effort to learn about your support system and the company you keep. This may help them to get to know you better and improve their relationship with you. However if he is only there to get in your pants without the extra baggage of emotional availability and responsibilities they would stay uninterested. They do not see the relationship as substantial enough to make an effort in that regard. After all it does not at all serve them in anyway and a player is only interested in what he is getting out of the relationship. The other person’s interests or happiness does not mean anything to them.