Relationships, especially modern ones, are delicate creatures. While Instagram and Facebook accounts showcase amazing pictures of seemingly perfect couples, they are very much removed from reality. Couples who seem extremely happy on social media may shock you with the news of their separation when you least expect it. Those who are in a successful relationship know that they take a lot of time and effort. They may cause pain, discomfort, and anger resulting in a doomed relationship.
Want to keep your relationship safe and sound? We, at Tapoos, brought you 13 harmful acts which you can avoid to keep your relationship intact. Advice from the relationship experts is at your fingertips!
Thinking that your partner can do nothing good would take a toll on your relationship. If any half of a couple deems the other as unable to contribute much to the bond, they would automatically drift apart sooner or later.
On the other extreme, counting upon your partner for too much is just as harmful. Perhaps even more. The higher your expectations, the more disappointed you would get when they aren’t fulfilled. Plus, you may eventually find your significant other irritating, annoying, or just plain frustrating.
All these negative emotions are detrimental to a relationship. It doesn’t have to be this way, though. Both parties should set a proper level of expectations from each other when they first get together. For example, if a woman expects her husband to bring her flowers every day, there won’t be any happiness in receiving them. When he forgets or doesn’t have time to get them, fights and arguments ensue.
Hence, keep expectations reasonable. Expect and insist upon the necessities, such as quality time, respect, and moral support. Once the obsessive needs start, the relationship is likely to become rocky. So be flexible, give some space, and leave room for surprises!
To maintain a long term and beautiful relationship, take the time to understand the other person. Unfortunately, too many people now only concentrate on how their partner should know them.
One main way to achieve this understanding is to realize you’re two different people. Both would have their little quirks and habits. You cannot even dream of changing a person overnight. They have developed over some years to become what they are.
Disagreements and fights happen in every relationship. They are not the direct culprit for a split, however. The real worrying factor is when two people fight and refuse to compromise with each other. Not only must both partners allow each other to make mistakes, but they should also expect some slip-ups. We are all human, and if we want others to look past our flaws, we must do the same.
If your partner is refusing to compromise, don’t make it an ego issue every time. Make it so that one person can bend to the other’s will, and vice versa. Of course, if the compromise is constantly on one side only, you probably don’t have much of a relationship anyway.
A relationship involves people who love and care for each other. If one or both sides of the relationship don’t take out the time to express their affection, there’s a problem.
In fact, one shouldn’t have to take out time to prove what they feel special. Little thoughtful actions, like taking care of responsibilities when they’re sick, are more meaningful than expensive gifts.
In a healthy relationship, a couple should want to have some time alone. They should plan date nights, movie nights, and throw in a little kiss or hug here and there. Small gestures like these take almost no effort but can go a long way in making both feel cherished.
If there is a lack of communication, the bond between anyone is in danger. In fact, professional and personal relationships both need communication to function.
Unfortunately, we are all too apt to cut ourselves off from those closest to us. We get caught up in our routine, or ‘relax’ with our smart technology when we have a spare minute. When couples do this almost every day, they’re not opening up to each other. It can create a lot of unresolved issues and result in two strangers sharing a bed.
To avoid shutting out your partner, set aside a time especially for each other. Use that time to talk about romantic or severe stuff. Something like what step you want to take in your career, not what you would wear tomorrow. Tackle a difficult topic before it becomes a major problem. Opening up in this manner could make the two of you best friends, along with keeping the spark alive.
Sometimes, it’s not the shutting out that’s the problem. It just might be that one or both of you are now different than at the start of your relationship. Hence, the dynamics of your relationship has shifted as well. Whether this change would cause a break or not, is not really in anyone’s hands.
For instance, one person may want to focus on family, maybe having children; the other person may not yet be ready for such a step! Both are right in having their own goals, and wouldn’t be at fault if the relationship deteriorates because of this.
However, the way you choose to end the relationship says a lot about you as a person. If you want to scream and drive your partner to despair before breaking up, you would likely become lifelong enemies. However, if you both talk things through, you may even end up wanting to stay together. Even if it doesn’t turn out that way, you would be still part amicable and remain friends.
It usually happens at the beginning of a relationship. However, since a human is always evolving, it can also become a problem after a relationship is firmly established.
There might be one person in the relationship who doesn’t want to seem weak or imperfect. This could be in the eyes of their partner, or the outside world. So they take their clicks for social media or fuss about keeping the house spick and span. In time, all this comes at the expense of their relationship.
Obviously, no one is perfect and pretending to, consume a lot of energy so. It also means that you’re building your whole life on an unstable foundation. Plus, when things don’t go entirely, a relationship perfectionist is most likely to lash out and make it worse.
The solution here is not to be afraid. Relationships are also about taking risks, so let the other person see you with your flaws. Chances are, they would love you all the more for it.
Of course, showcasing your flaws doesn’t mean letting yourself go physically. This point may seem a bit shallow, but it is very important. All too often, a couple would stop making an effort for each other. They may clean up to go to a party, but wouldn’t bother with even basic hygiene when it’s just them.
While this may seem relationship goals, there’s a glaring problem here. You should value the relationship enough to stay neat and clean. If a couple does not dress up for each other from time to time, they may end up losing interest. And, where’s the excitement then?
We pass by our furniture every day, only using it when we need it. While furniture doesn’t have feelings, people do. Treating our significant others like we treat furniture is a very negative sign.
Even if a couple thinks they’re happy with each other, they may settle into a routine all too quickly. Don’t pass the other person without saying goodbye on your way to work. If you put in a little gesture of affection, both your days could go so much better.
If work and home life seem too overwhelming, your relationship is likely to take a back seat. However, it is your responsibility to snatch a few quick moments together. These could become what hold you two together in the end.
There are couples who complete each other’s sentences and seem made for each other. However, even the best of us fight. While we may make up, some of us have the habit of holding on to grudges and other negative emotions.
If you find yourself unable to trust your partner after a fight is resolved, you need to take extra steps. Talk it out with each other, instead of bottling it up and letting it loose in your next argument. Similarly, if you don’t like a particular act your partner did, talk about it. Fuming in silence would most likely do more harm than good in a relationship.
You may have very high standards in life, and not everyone can always live up to them, but you are with your partner for a reason, remember that. Criticizing them for everything they do ‘wrong’ is not going to improve your relationship.
One example of this is that you may wash the dishes every time you finish eating. Your partner, however, could let them pile up until the next day. While this may make things a tad uncomfortable for you, it is not worth losing someone over. You may gently remind them, but taunting, mansplaining, or bulldozing over their way of life is not the answer.
Of course, if someone is excessively filthy, they could become hard to live with. In such a situation, you could see if they improve or if it’s better to end things altogether.
While both of you expect a lot from each other, it is only natural that both want something from life too. There is no point in pinning the other person down to what you think they should do in life. It would only result in frustration and resentment. From there on, a doomed relationship is both expected and inevitable.
There is always room for compromise and a way to get both parties what they want. However, for this to happen, both partners need to give some leeway. If you have a family, don’t force the other person to stay at home while you’re out building your career. It is important that both understand the other’s needs and work for mutual happiness.
In an unhealthy relationship, couples may find they’re a bit too invested in each other. If you quit your job in order to fulfill your partner’s expectations, you’re not doing your relationship any favors.
It is important to realize that you both are people with your own lives, interest, and friends. While combining the two may be a good idea for some, it might not always be a valid solution. It might be that your best friend can’t stand him/her. When it comes to hanging out then, don’t sacrifice your friendship. Make time for your own social life instead of backing up the other people.
When two people have their own identity, they can better appreciate their differences. It makes for a wealth of experience in being together.
Work, whether it’s in the home or office, is a necessity for most of us. We need it to earn money, to stay active, and even to fulfill emotional needs. Providing for your family is a necessity, and keeping up the standards of living is also admirable.
However, when a couple starts putting work before their relationship, they’re risking their bond. One may be patient with their partner’s irregular hours, but then they need some compensation for it.
Hence, if your relationship is important to you, don’t hesitate to take steps before it crumbles. The rush of modern life can be very distracting. Staying aware of the signs above can help you save your relationship before it’s too late.