There are certain characteristics of relationships that prove the old maxim of “when you know, you know.” These following traits should be a sign of the connection in your relationship and the effort your girlfriend puts into being the best. After all, you deserve it, as does she. In the ideal relationship, these traits should be an effort at all but merely the result of two people just being themselves.
1. She laughs at you and you laugh at her.
They say laughter is the best medicine and in a way, it’s true. There are proven effects to laughing: ease of pain, decrease in depression, and chemical reactions in your brain that have a positive outcome. It’s also personal. To get to know someone’s laugh is intimate and infectious. It’s like a constant inside joke between the two of you and it also makes you feel really good to be able to make her laugh. In rom-coms there is always the typical tall, good-looking guy who seems like a good choice, but in the end the girls falls for the guy who can truly make her laugh. Well, if you told the rom-com from a guy’s perspective, you’d find out how wonderful it is to have the ability to make someone laugh, and to also to laugh with her. There is enough drama in relationships and our daily lives that, for the long run, to really have the best, you want someone who you can simply laugh with. It will make everything so much better.
2. She doesn’t lie.
Respect is not given but earned, but when it comes to trust, it’s usually given freely. At least in the beginning. As we start out getting to know someone, we begin to trust them, but if that trust is ever broken there is really no turning back. What happens when you break someone’s trust is you plant a seed under the surface; slowly, that seed grows and flowers into a dangerous plant—it pushes you to the edge to where everything becomes questionable. It spreads like a disease to the point that there is no more trust and you’re constantly questioning everything with a jealous tone and hint of anger.
Once that trust is broken there is really no way to fix it. Try to find someone who you can truly trust, someone with a clear conscience who doesn’t have a reason to lie. Remember, if she lies about little things at the beginning, sure enough she’ll lie about bigger things in the end.
3. Your friends like when you bring her around.
Friends have the power to see certain things we can’t. Sometimes we are too involved and have our blinders on, but friends don’t. True friends will tell it how it is and usually without remorse since, after all, they’re looking out for your best interest. Therefore, a trait of an amazing girlfriend would be that she gets along with your friends and they actually like her.
She’ll make your social life a whole lot easier. It’s also a really nice feeling to have your friends asking about your girlfriend and wanting to include her. Any group activity will be planned a little better since let’s face it, guys tend to suck at planning, so with your girlfriend helping out, things will definitely get done. And who knows, maybe she will have some cool friends as well and you guys can play matchmaker.
4. Your family loves her.
A mother knows best, right? We don’t have to dive into any theories of Freud here but we can all safely admit that if your family doesn’t like your girlfriend, then she probably is not the one for you. If you plan to take things to the next level at any time, imagine how dreadful those events will be when the room is filled with awkward tension.
An amazing girlfriend will not only get along with your family but treat them as her own. She’ll open up to your parents, joke around with your siblings, and even give that one aunt a big hug even though she smells like cats and cigarettes. There is such comfort over the holidays as well, waking up and seeing her have coffee with your mom and sister knowing they probably just got done talking about you. A truly amazing girlfriend treats your family like hers because in her mind, and hopefully yours, she might be one day.
5. You can sit in silence with her.
First dates are always a little awkward because you’re constantly trying to fill the silence with conversation. But when it comes down the road a bit and you’re dating someone, an amazing girlfriend is someone you could sit with in total silence and never have a dull moment. It’s within those silences when you really feel comfortable with someone, as if they’re a part of you in some weird way and already know what you’re thinking so it doesn’t have to constantly said.
You both can be sitting on the couch watching TV, reading, or scrolling Instagram (bonus points if she tags you in funny posts even though you’re right there) and just be totally comfortable in your silence. There was someone I dated and some of our favorite things to do together were mundane household things like folding laundry, cleaning the apartment, or making the bed because it was those moments where she felt most comfortable. Never having to speak about it but just having the other person there for a little part of her daily life gave her such joy. The ideal girlfriend will feel the same because, at the very least, it makes doing household chores a little sweeter.
6. She is down for adventures.
There are certain events in a relationship that truly bond two people. Surely you can think of some of the more obvious ones but there are others that are a bit more subtle. Adventure is one of those. An adventure is a great tool for two people to really connect with one another and get to know parts of each other you would never find in daily life. There is romance that comes with camping in the woods, cooking over an open flame, setting up your tent, doing all these things together and by your own two hands.
You’re surviving together and helping each other. It’s a beautiful moment to have your iPhone become a simple clock, your fingers covered in dirt, boots drenched in water, but there you guys are, hiking a cliff or enjoying a fire-side hot chocolate. You’re left with nothing to entertain yourselves but each other. It’s like unfolding a hidden layer of camaraderie when two people adventure together. A truly amazing girlfriend will be the best adventure partner you could have. Besides Bear Grylls.
7. She is weird.
We’ve all probably heard this quote: “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
Being normal is overrated. We always end up wanting someone who is unique and strange and fun and interesting. Why color inside the lines when there is so much more room to color outside of them? An amazing girlfriend will leave you feeling inspired and special, and will have qualities that leave imprints in your memory. Just like Robin Williams tells Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting about his wife and her little peccadillos, and how those are the moments he misses—the little oddities that only he knew and no one else. Those little quirks are the things that make a good girlfriend become an amazing one.
8. You miss her when she’s not around.
If you love her, let her go; if she comes back, she was always yours; if she doesn’t, she never was. The same rule goes for you as well. Let me tell you about the first time I first realized I could truly like someone. I grew up going to summer camp in Wisconsin, quite far from my hometown of St. Louis. When school let out for summer, I would get a week with my friends and then I was off off to camp for the next eight weeks. Sure, it was a little bit of a bummer to miss out on summer with my school friends but it was relatively always the same and camp was just once a year.
I never had any issues leaving until I met a girl… We met in sixth grade and in our minds, were the Cory and Topanga of our friends. In ninth grade is when we got serious. I knew I liked her but it wasn’t until summer came and I packed up my bags and had to say goodbye to this girl that I realized just how strongly I felt. It was terrible and I almost didn’t want to leave. We wrote letters but to a 15-year-old boy it wasn’t the same, and I’ll never forget that summer being one of the strangest. A part of me was always wondering about her and if time spent with her would make me happier than camp. Ultimately I just really missed her and it made it hard to be away.
So, what I say to you, find someone who makes you miss them—someone whose absence makes you feel a little bit off. As cheesy as it is, it’s a sign that she is someone special.